Monday, June 30, 2014

Sunflowers and Signs

So I'm beginning to be optimistic and that scares me.. but maybe there are signs out there.
During my prep for my FET last September there was a lone sunflower. Though it was small, it grew out of a debris field. Since my group name was 'September Sunflowers' I thought it was a fitting sign of things to come. That sunflower died with the confirmation of my chemical pregnancy.

The next week another sunflower popped up in the rock yard, and I thought.. maybe this means I should keep trying. Keep in mind, my chemical was confirmed on the anniversary of my mother's death. My mom LOVED sunflowers. Her entire kitchen was sunflowers, her favorite perfume was Sunflowers. They always remind me of my mom. So I thought maybe she was telling me not to give up.

So what does that mean? Well- in the exact same spot as my 'do not give up' sunflower is another sunflower. Look! It's flipping huge- like a really huge sunflower.. the kind that stay for a while. I'm so reading into this too much- but how could this not be a sign? Even if its just from my mom since my beta is around her birthday.

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