Friday, May 30, 2014

Simple Answers

I'm feeling really good right now. I went to therapy and my superb therapist and I really worked on this whole IUI issue. And then we realized- if I need 2 perfect IUIs to feel good about moving onto donor eggs, then I can still do that. I'll just need to buy more sperm. Luckily, there is still more available with our donor even though he stopped making deposits and I know the numbers are dwindling. Just buy more sperm... Why couldn't I see that as an option?
I know DH freaked when I suggested that a few weeks ago- but my therapist reminded me that this level of crazy that went on in my brain isn't worth the few hundred dollars... and she was going to talk to him about that. She reminded me how he said he would be supportive and this is what we need right now.
So- for right now I'm going to need to pinch my pennies a little tighter- but I won't ever regret the cup of coffee I didn't buy- or the pair of shoes- or the hair cut I didn't get (Lord knows how many times I've regretted the ones I did get)...
This is more important and needs to be treated as such.... and we wrote down all my questions for the doctor... which I just e-mailed him ahead of time.
I don't even care if he thinks I'm crazy because trust me- having someone think you're crazy feels so much better than actually being crazy... and I feel like I let the crazy go.

This is so my life...

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