Part III

Seriously?!? I thought the posts for today were over... I mean, I've had enough drama.. but no Dr. M wrote me back...

You have had a few cycles where you started with an 11mm follicle, but nothing so big and not with an elevated estrogen.

I would try to use luteal estrace (estrogen priming) before the next cycle

You would start a week before we think you will get your period – so checking blood in10 days..

This is a sign that the brain and ovary are not exactly on the same page..

Try to hang in there

Does he know that he just made me crazy and that's why he put in "try to hang in there"? 

I promised Chris (the DH) that I would shut up and listen to the doctor this cycle. I just need to keep saying that over and over again because I am so freakin confused!! I'm rediagnosing myself as unexplained infertility because if that's what he's saying to do- I know nothing about my diagnosis and it contradicts everything he explained to me. 

I'll probably bring this up in therapy next week- and she will yell at me because I should be self advocating and telling DH to shut up (she says it much nicer).. but here are my issues.

If my brain and uterus aren't talking, shouldn't I stop my cabergoline- brain meds- since my prolactin levels are normal? I mean that makes sense to me. I am so tempted to just write him back and ask that... but 

I can't even touch the estrogen priming- I was told no estrogen- keep it super low.. I mean I avoid soy and caffeine during my cycles so my estrogen doesn't go up.. I almost wanted to tell him about the studies that say people on the DHEA I'm taking show a significantly higher level of estrogen than those not taking it.. and he wants more estrogen.. So- are we taking a chance on the SERs? Will it be stopped beforehand so I don't need to worry about the estrogen affecting egg quality. It was on estrogen priming protocol that gave me ZERO eggs fertilized- a canceled IVF cycle and tons of heartbreak. To say I don't feel comfortably about this is putting it mildly. 

Try to hang in there... ugh.. I feel like I'm hanging by my neck... or my hair... but I feel gravity or some other natural force is trying to pull me apart. 

Maybe he should have signed it "Keep it together"